Hot Dogs, Horseshoes & Hand Grenades/Self-Loading PistolsHot Dogs, Horseshoes & Hand Grenades/Self-Loading Pistols - Internet Movie Firearms Database - Guns in Movies, TV and Video GamesHot Dogs, Horseshoes & Hand Grenades/Self-Loading Pistols
Handguns in H3 are split into eight categories, based on their method of operation: Automatic (i.e. self-loading), Revolver, Machine Pistol (most of which are here, though some are on the submachine gun sub-page; the distinction is largely arbitrary, as the term has no formalized definition), Breech Loading, Lever Action, Bolt Action (which are listed in the rifles/carbines page, as the category consists of sawn-off bolt-action rifles with the only exception being the Welrod Mk IIA), Muzzle Loading, and Derringers. A small number of exceptions are categorized (presumably on the basis of caliber) with the anti-materiel rifles. This subpage covers the Automatic and Machine Pistol categories; the others are covered on the next two subpages.
AMT AutoMag II
The AMT AutoMag II was one of the two pistols added on Day 4 of the Meatmas 2022 advent calendar event.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingAMT AutoMag II - .22 WMRError creating thumbnail: File missingDay 4 was a two-for-one special, both guns courtesy of AMT.Error creating thumbnail: File missingActually using them upon introduction begins with an all-too-familiar ritual: dumping all the ammo out of a magazine, spawn-locking it, and then (as shown here) reloading the same magazine - due to the method of their introduction (being added to this scene exclusively, and not actually put into the game's item database, in order to reduce update size), daily gifts' magazines can't be spawnlocked, so this is the best workaround available.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLoading the now-loaded magazine into the AutoMag II...Error creating thumbnail: File missing...before taking a round out of it again, and putting it into the chamber.Error creating thumbnail: File missingTaking a close look at the AutoMag; the markings are authentic, reading "STAINLESS - MADE IN U.S.A.", "PAT PENDING", and "230488-8" (a serial number).Error creating thumbnail: File missingThe other side; here, the markings read "AUTOMAG II", "22 RIMFIRE MAGNUM", and "IRWINDALE, CA", with AMT logos on the slide, frame, and both grips - this would raise copyright concerns if not for the fact that Arcadia Machine & Tool is no longer in business.Error creating thumbnail: File missingFlicking the safety, just for its own sake; this doubles a decocker, so re-readying the single-action pistol requires manually cocking the hammer.Error creating thumbnail: File missingDoing so, and aiming at a steel plate; the AutoMag's sights are a simple notch-and-post setup, with both features being wide and easy to read.Error creating thumbnail: File missingStripping some paint off the plate; a spent case, crushed rim and all, is just visible at the top of the shot. .22 Magnum may not be the most powerful round, but it's a fair bit snappier than people give it credit for.Error creating thumbnail: File missing8 more bare spots on the plate later, the AutoMag locks open. Note the visible magazine follower - being more recently-introduced guns, the AutoMags have modeled magazine springs and followers, and functional witness holes to go along with them.
AMT AutoMag V
Accompanying the AutoMag II above, the AMT AutoMag V was also added on Day 4 of Meatmas 2022 advent calendar event.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingAMT AutoMag V - .50 Action ExpressError creating thumbnail: File missingNo sense in showing the same box twice, so let's just skip right to the gun itself. And yes, that's why the safety lever is slanted at the front - if it was flat-ended, the grip would get in the way of the "safe" position.Error creating thumbnail: File missingDisengaging the safety, and taking a closer look. The markings are broadly similar to its smaller sibling's, bar the obvious change in designation, and the lack of an AMT logo on the grip.Error creating thumbnail: File missingThe other side's markings are a bit more distinct - while they share the "STAINLESS - MADE IN U.S.A" line, the AutoMag V features a "WARNING / READ INSTRUCTIONS MANUAL / BEFORE HANDLING THIS FIREARM" marking, and lacks the "PAT PENDING", presumably since it's not really anything new mechanically - if it looks like a rather thick M1911, that's because it pretty much is.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLoading in a fresh magazine - in spite of their prodigious size, these only hold 5 rounds. Which does make sense, when you think about it - after all, being very big is .50 AE's whole schtick.Error creating thumbnail: File missingChambering 20% of the magazine's contents. The ports in the barrel are visible here, as are the holes in the slide that line up with them; these serve to help tame the considerable recoil such a round produces.Error creating thumbnail: File missingTaking aim at an unseen enemy; the two AutoMags share a similar sight setup. From this angle, it almost looks sensibly-sized - though the lack of visible hands, and thus any real sense of scale, probably helps in this regard.Error creating thumbnail: File missingTaking some potshots at considerably more visible threats; the .50 AE produces a considerable amount of noise, muzzle flash...Error creating thumbnail: File missing...and, of course, recoil. One winces at the thought of this without the compensator cuts - or out of a lighter gun, for that matter.Error creating thumbnail: File missingHaving run dry in remarkably short order, the empty magazine is promptly ejected. And then picked back up, because you only get two, and AutoMag V magazines can cost over $100.00 on the second-hand market.
ASP
One of many small pistols added in the update, the much-requested ASP was implemented in Update #105's first experimental build.
"Armament Systems Procedures"? Really? Lame."Error creating thumbnail: File missingLoading in one of the ASP's proprietary magazines - like more or less every other part of the pistol, these are cut down from standard Smith & Wesson 39 stock - barring the finger rest on the bottom, which is a wholly original part.Error creating thumbnail: File missingChambering a round - not the easiest affair, given that the slide serrations have been milled off, but it's doable. At this stage, the first round has left the magazine; accordingly, the follower has moved up one position.Error creating thumbnail: File missingFlicking the safety (another shaved-down, smoothed-over part - the ASP was removing snag points before it was cool); this doubles as a decocker.Error creating thumbnail: File missingTaking a close look at the sights. While many of the ASP's features were rather forward-thinking in the realm of subcompact 9mm concealed-carry pistols (of which it was one of the very first), some didn't quite catch on - the unique "guttersnipe" rear sight, for example, remained unique to this pistol. The idea is that the black-painted edges of the rear sight help the user point it straight forward quickly, without having a front sight to lose track of or snag on clothing; some versions had nothing but the gutter, while others (like this one) had a pair of white dots on the back and a white square at the front for extra contrast at the cost of visibility. It's not the most precise system either way, but it's plenty sufficient for the close-in, quick-draw engagements it was meant for.Error creating thumbnail: File missingFiring; befitting of its name, the ASP has a bite far deadlier than its size would imply. And, given its intended market, it may have been involved in the demise of a monarch or two.Error creating thumbnail: File missingPerforming a quick reload - even if it's empty, you're better off not dropping these mags on the floor. It cuts down on the available evidence - plus, proprietary mags for a pistol that hasn't been produced since the eighties (and wasn't ever made in terribly large numbers to begin with) aren't exactly cheap.Error creating thumbnail: File missingOf course, what's a sneaky little pistol without a suppressor to stick on it? This small Maxim can isn't exactly the most reasonable option, but it's hard to deny it looks neat. (Also note the bobbed hammer, here in its cocked state. And don't note the half-empty magazine - asking too many questions about where those bullets went is an excellent way to be the next answer.)Error creating thumbnail: File missingSpeaking of things you shouldn't ask questions about, try not to think too hard about how the suppressor's actually attached.
No, seriously. Don't think about it. The chip they put in your head will explode if you do.
Bayard Model 1908
The Bayard Model 1908 was added on Meatmas Day 2022, thus marking the diminutive pistol's first known video game appearance.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingBayard Model 1908 - .32 ACPError creating thumbnail: File missingOpening the Meatmas tree's smallest box to reveal an even smaller gun. Granted, that's how all things in boxes work, but still.Error creating thumbnail: File missingTaking a (much) closer look at the Bayard. The grips are molded with the name "BAYARD", the slide and frame both bear the serial number (54371), and the front of both also bear some ancient arcane runes remarkably accurate proof marks. Yes, even the fish.Error creating thumbnail: File missingThe other side, which bears more admirably-authentic markings - "CAL 7.65 MODELE DEPOSE" on the slide, "ANCIENS ETABLISSEMENTS PIEPER" and "HERSTAL - BELGIUM" on the frame, with a Bayard logo just above the grip (also molded with "BAYARD"), and "SER" by the safety.Error creating thumbnail: File missingSpeaking of which, here's what the safety looks like when it isn't engaged. Doing this reveals one final marking - "FEU", or "FIRE", revealed when the gun is ready to do so.Error creating thumbnail: File missingOr rather, when it's able to - making it ready involves a couple extra steps, starting with this magazine here. Despite what its proportions might suggest, the Bayard isn't just another dinky little European pocket .25 - it's in .32 instead, giving it a whopping 5-round capacity. What's more, some were actually made in .380, a caliber which absolutely can not be pleasant out of a gun this small.Error creating thumbnail: File missingRacking the somewhat unusually laid-out slide to chamber one such round; the shape of the slide's serrations (triangular-cut, rather than square-cut), coupled with the style of the grip panels (attached via two screws - one at the top and one at the bottom - instead of just one in the middle) pegs this as a second-variation Bayard.Error creating thumbnail: File missingTaking aim at nothing in particular with the aid of the Bayard's rather diminutive sights.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLetting a round fly - .32 ACP isn't a terribly potent round, but when you're firing it from a gun this tiny, it's quite snappy. Also note that this is the first entry on the page to feature the post-Update #107 re-modeled cartridges, complete with new textures and (as seen here) properly-modeled primer strikes.Error creating thumbnail: File missingA mere handful of such shots later, the Bayard runs empty. And does not, unlike its misbehaving pre-107 incarnation, lock open.
Beretta 92FS (Grammaton Cleric pistol)
Replicas of the Grammaton Clerics' modified Beretta 92FS pistols from the movie Equilibrium are available in-game, having been added through Update #37. The Grammaton Cleric comes in full-auto, and boasts the same interesting muzzle flash as the movie gun.
The Beretta 92FS Inox was added in Alpha 1 of Update #99, as part of the 92-series refresh update.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingBeretta 92FS Inox (US-produced) - 9x19mm ParabellumError creating thumbnail: File missingTaking a look at the 92FS Inox on a nice sunny day.Error creating thumbnail: File missingIt's smooth, clean, and pristine - one might even call it "stainless".Error creating thumbnail: File missingLoading in magazine, in the hopes of scaring off any residual lame puns before they rear their respective heads.Error creating thumbnail: File missing"Well, if you don't want us to rear our heads, I guess we'll just have to face them right towards y- alright, alright, I get it! Watch where you're pointing that thing, jeez..."Error creating thumbnail: File missingWithout any of those left to cause problems, plenty of time is available to appreciate the smaller things - like, for example, how the updated Berettas' barrels actually move backward ever so slightly when the slide is retracted (note that the muzzle is now nearly flush with the end of the guide rod, compared to where it was previously).Error creating thumbnail: File missingEngaging the safety to de-cock the hammer; this was a feature before this particular alpha, but it's still nice to see.Error creating thumbnail: File missingSuddenly remembering what this gun is - a 92FS, and an Inox at that. To use it sensibly would be dishonoring the decades of over-the-top action movies that led to this point. Dual-wielding them, with 20-round 93R mags loaded with tracers, on the other hand?Error creating thumbnail: File missingNow, that sounds like a proper way to use them.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLooking through the pistol's sights; they're a typical 3-dot setup, with white rear dots and a red front one for faster acquisition. Still, holding two of them does make getting a proper sight picture with both a bit trickier.Error creating thumbnail: File missingThen again, if you're holding two Inoxes, that's not really the point, is it?
Beretta 93R
The Beretta 93R was added on day 7 of the Meatmas 2020 Advent Calendar event. It is cross-compatible with all Beretta magazines (including the extended Cx4 magazines), and comes with a detachable shoulder stock.
The Beretta 93R Auto 9 was added on Meatmas Day 2020. It is largely identical to the standard 93R gameplay-wise, save for its slightly better recoil control and muzzle velocity (owing to the longer, compensated barrel), its lack of a foregrip, and its fire mode - 4-round bursts instead of the standard version's 3.
The Beretta 950BS Jetfire is one of the available firearms in-game, having been added through the first Meatmas update. 2 versions are available - a standard blued model with black plastic grips, and a gold-plated model with mother-of-pearl grips.
The Beretta M1951 was added in Update #105 Experimental Build 1; however, the weapon was only available through random drops like in Take and Hold until the update's third experimental build, when it was added into the item spawner.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingBeretta M1951 - 9x19mm ParabellumError creating thumbnail: File missingTaking a gander at the M1951; the location of this screenshot should tell you everything you need to know about when it was taken.Error creating thumbnail: File missingThe 1951's aesthetics are interesting, to say the least - it fits nicely into the lineage, being a logical stepping-stone between the smallerpistols that preceded it, and the better-known 92 that would follow, though it's a fine gun in its own right as well.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAccordingly, it retains some features of the earlier Berettas, like the single-stack magazine (holding 8 rounds, in this case)...Error creating thumbnail: File missing...while also moving forward in other areas - being the first Beretta pistol chambered in 9x19mm Parabellum, the M1951 is also the first to adopt a P38-derived recoil-operated system in lieu of the previous guns' simple blowback.Error creating thumbnail: File missingUnique to the 1951 is this particular style of safety, a simple crossbolt design - relatively common in shotguns, slightly less so in rifles, and rather unusual in a handgun.Error creating thumbnail: File missingEven more unusually, it also acts as a decocker, like the safety levers on the later 92 series; unlike the 92s, however, the M1951 is single-action only, so the hammer has to be cocked afterwards in order to fire the gun.Error creating thumbnail: File missingHaving done so, the next area of focus is up top; befitting of its era, the 1951's sights are better than most of the wartime pistols that came before it, but still not what we'd consider "modern" nowadays.Error creating thumbnail: File missingRecoil's about what you'd expect, not much to write home about.Error creating thumbnail: File missingUpon firing the last shot, the pistol locks open - by the 1950s, this was pretty much standard.Error creating thumbnail: File missingDramatically dumping out the magazine, courtesy of the 1951's somewhat unusual low-mounted button release; it could probably be hit one-handed like this (wrapping the right pinky around and pushing the button in), but it'd be a rather awkward affair. Better than a true heel release, though.
Beretta M9
The original military-issue Beretta M9 was added in Alpha 1 of Update #99, as part of the update's M9 series refresh. The main distinguishing feature between the M9 and the previously-added M9A1 is the former's lack of an under-barrel rail; the M9A1 also has slightly different grip serrations, though this has no impact on gameplay.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingBeretta M9 - 9x19mm ParabellumError creating thumbnail: File missingHaving finally installed the HD pack, an earlier version of "Welldone Freemeat" inspects his pilfered M9.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAt least, we're assuming it's an M9 - the only real distinction between an M9 and a civilian 92FS is in the markings, and the in-game model has exactly zero of them.Error creating thumbnail: File missingOn the plus side, the trigger works as intended - not only does it properly cock the hammer in DA mode (a feature that'd been in the game since Update #52), it properly moves back when the hammer is cocked (a feature added to all the DA/SA handguns in the same update), and the trigger bar moves as well (a feature added to this particular update's Berettas).Error creating thumbnail: File missingLoading in a fresh, witness-holed magazine. Left-handed, 'cause why not?Error creating thumbnail: File missingRacking the slide, and (as a right-hander) very quickly discovering why not.Error creating thumbnail: File missingStepping out of the supply room, first-game Freemeat quickly discovers something that, in his humble opinion, aught not to exist on this planet. Or anywhere near it, for that matter.Error creating thumbnail: File missingDeciding to be the change he wishes to see in the world, Welldone politely asks the abomination to leave.Error creating thumbnail: File missing15 requests later, Freemeat decides that it'd be easier if he was the one who left the planet instead.Error creating thumbnail: File missingPerforming a quick mag-change, Freemeat remembers that he still has his magical time-traveling 17-round magazines that wouldn't come out for another 5 years.Error creating thumbnail: File missingHe then immediately pops it back out, showing off another feature of the freshly-added Beretta models: functional magazines releases. The future really is now, isn't it?
Beretta M9A1
The Beretta M9A1 is one of the 4 pistols added in Update #5. Upon its introduction, it was permanently fitted with a suppressor; this was removed in favor of a threaded barrel in Update #20 (which introduced detachable suppressors to the game). The first alpha of Update #99 replaced the model with a fresh one, to bring it into line with the other Beretta 92 variants.
Update #52 added a Beretta M9A3 to the game, complete with its own unique (yet interchangeable) 17-round magazines. As with the other Beretta 92 variants, it received a new model in Update #99's first alpha.
The Beretta Px4 Storm is one of the available firearms in-game. It was added in Update #20, and is correctly able to share magazines with the earlier M9A1, the concurrently-added Cx4, and the later-added Mx4.
The Wurstwurld update brought along a Bergmann Simplex pocket pistol, among many other things. Of note is that this is the first ever appearance of this variant of the weapon in a video game, and only the second documented appearance of it in any form of media, the first being in The Mystic Archives of Dantalian.
Added in the sixth alpha build of Update #85, H3 expands its list of first-time-in-a-video-game Bergmann pistols with the No. 5, an 1897-vintage, full-sized semiautomatic. Two variants are available - a standard pistol and a long-barreled carbine - both of which are compatible with a concurrently-added attachable stock (or any of the game's other pistol-stocks, for that matter).
Added in the fifth alpha of Update #85, the Borchardt C-93 distinguishes itself as H3's oldest autoloading firearm.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingBorchardt C-93 - 7.65x25mm BorchardtError creating thumbnail: File missingThe Board Shark, in all of its unergonomic glory.Error creating thumbnail: File missingBeing one of the first ever self-loading pistols (and the first one to achieve any real commercial success), this is somewhat understandable - it takes a while for people to figure out the best way to do things. Sometimes, it's just a matter of trial and error.Error creating thumbnail: File missingOh, and it also has a vertically-sliding safety. Which is considerably less of a loading aid than these screenshots would suggest.Error creating thumbnail: File missing"And they call this thing a "self-loader"... the audacity of some folks never ceases to amaze."Error creating thumbnail: File missingChambering a round. If the C-93's toggle-locked action looks familiar, it's probably because Georg Luger's design was effectively an improvement on Hugo Borchardt's, largely because the latter wouldn't listen to constructive criticism.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAiming at the spot where a target was just moments before.Error creating thumbnail: File missingBlasting another floating bullseye; this seemingly unaimed shot is less a feat of shooting prowess and more a side-effect of screen-capturing programs only recording the left eye's view.Error creating thumbnail: File missingPressing the magazine release. Dropping century-old pistol magazines on the ground isn't something you should really be doing, especially not when they're in this good of condition.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAnd speaking of things that you should really not be doing...Error creating thumbnail: File missingIt's so profoundly, deeply wrong that the mere act of pointing it at something creates chaos and destruction. Heaven knows what untold devastation would occur if this device were actually to be fired...
Browning Hi-Power
The Browning Hi-Power was the first weapon added in the 1st Meatmas update. Notably, it is correctly depicted as being unfireable without a magazine inserted.
Added in the fifth alpha build of Update #85, the Colt M1911 joins H3VR's roster of auto-loading handguns as a completely separate, distinct pistol from the M1911A1 below (largely to add more variety to the end-game weapon pool of the Take & Hold character Cowweiner Calico); interestingly, this makes H3 one of (if not the) only games to feature both.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingColt M1911 - .45 ACPError creating thumbnail: File missingTaking a moment to appreciate the M1911. The pre-A1 guns are a scarce sight in games to begin with, let alone games that have A1s as well.Error creating thumbnail: File missingA closer look at the right side reveals the original M1911's distinctive "diamond" grip panels; these are, however, an interchangeable part.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLoading in a magazine; these are interchangeable with all the rest.Error creating thumbnail: File missingChambering a round of .45 ACP. While not the first gun to use the round (an honor instead belonging to the Colt M1905), the M1911 was undoubtedly the one that really got it off the ground.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAiming at a steel target; the M1911's sights are a bit small, but such was typical of this era.Error creating thumbnail: File missingStripping some paint from the plate.Error creating thumbnail: File missingHitting the magazine release, and watching the magazine just start to work its way out of the well. A couple frames later, it's out of the shot entirely.Error creating thumbnail: File missingComparing the M1911 with an M1911A1 that was conveniently lying around; note the aforementioned grip panels, as well as the differences in mainspring housing design (straight vs. curved), trigger type (long vs. short), grip safety design (short beavertail vs. long beavertail), and frame type (without vs. with recesses near the trigger). While not visible here, the A1 also has a larger ejection port and a smaller hammer spur.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAnd, when you find yourself holding two subtly-different 1911 variants, what else is there to do but pull both devil triggers?
1911 Stamped Prototype
Update #95 added an extremely rare prototype of the 1911 pistol made from stamped parts. Due to the scarcity of information on this pistol, this is the only known depiction in media of this particular version of the 1911 pistol.
Error creating thumbnail: File missing1911 stamped metal prototype - .45 ACPError creating thumbnail: File missingPlease ignore the fact that the gun model looks untextured - it was the manufacturer's fault it looks that way, not the modeler's. Jokes aside, this pistol is very bare bones in terms of useable features; no mag release button, no slide lock, etc. Thankfully the ejection button on the controller still works.Error creating thumbnail: File missingInserting what looks to be a typical 1911 magazine. I guess Colt figured it was the one component they couldn't simplify further.Error creating thumbnail: File missingOverall, operating the prototype 1911 is no different from any of the other 1911 pattern pistols.Error creating thumbnail: File missing...except for the safety. Instead of the manual safety being located on the side, it's located on the rear, just above the firing pin. When rotated downwards, it blocks the firing pin.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAnd when rotated upwards, not only can you fire, you also get your rear sights!Error creating thumbnail: File missingAll quirkiness aside, it's still a pretty effective pistol when it comes to shooting targets.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLike the Pocket Hammer 1903, the 1911 Prototype slide does not hold open upon emptying a magazine.
Colt M1911A1
The M1911A1 is one of the available firearms in-game, added in Update #3. Update #23 added 2 cosmetic variants: one with a matte-gray finish and green synthetic grips, and one with a gold-plated finish and black grips. The M1911A1 is noteworthy for having the most variants of any pistol in the game; adding together the original M1911, the Kimber Warrior (which is listed in-game as a modern M1911A1 variant), cosmetic finishes, and spinoff variants, there are eleven different M1911-pattern pistols in H3VR.
A unique, fully-automatic version of the latter with a length of about 1 meter (and, formerly, unlimited ammunition) is available in the Meatmas Snowglobe level and as a rare drop in Take And Hold; this version is referred to as, of all possible names, "Floppy McLongflopper". This is a reference to a series of requests on the game's subreddit by a user named "RichardLongflop" for a "longslide" version of the M1911A1 (which grew increasingly elaborate, to the point of submitting a fake bug report video in which he literally wrote the request on a target with bulletholes); while presumably referring to something along the lines of an AMT Hardballer Longslide, the lack of an actual specified slide length in the requests led game dev Anton Hand to create this monstrosity instead.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingThe "Floppy McLongflopper" sitting on a table. Even without the backstory, it's still a rather fitting name, wouldn't you say?Error creating thumbnail: File missingUnfortunately, all of that L E N G T H makes it a bit tricky to use.Error creating thumbnail: File missingEspecially considering its impressive muzzle rise (which is actually just the same as the standard M1911A1, and is simply exaggerated by both the full-auto fire and the increased deviation from center created by the distance from the pivot point to the muzzle). This does raise questions about how it even manages to cycle the slide with that much extra weight on it, all of which are answered with "it's a meter-long golden machine pistol, why are you trying to apply any sort of logical reasoning here".Error creating thumbnail: File missingAttempting to aim the Floppy; the fact that the front sight is at the end of the slide and isn't any larger than it is on the normal variants makes this a bit tricky.Error creating thumbnail: File missingStill, it's all worth it for the ability to muzzle an enemy from three feet away, give a dramatic one-liner, and watch the meat-bits fly.
Lebman Machine Pistol
A fully-automatic variant of the M1911A1, based on the machine pistol conversions created by Hyman Lebman, is one of Update #52's additions; it was added during the "St. Valentine's Day Meatssacre" alpha build, and is referred to as the "M1911A1 Dillinger", in reference to the famous Prohibition-era gangster John Dillinger (who used a similar pistol during his time as a criminal).
Error creating thumbnail: File missingHyman Lebman-converted M1911A1 machine pistol - .38 SuperError creating thumbnail: File missingThe converted M1911A1, complete with Cutts compensator and Thompson-type foregrip.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLoading in the weapon's unique magazine (which is interchangeable with other M1911 pistols and magazines).Error creating thumbnail: File missingSaid magazine holds 18 rounds, and is essentially just several existing magazines welded together.Error creating thumbnail: File missingPulling back the slide.Error creating thumbnail: File missingPseudo-aiming the pistol, which is close enough to actually aiming it to show off the illuminated sights; these were a byproduct of the weapon being a modified version of the existing M1911A1 model, and didn't stay around for long.Error creating thumbnail: File missingEspecially when one considers the sheer amount of recoil this weapon produces, which renders aiming a bit unnecessary anyways.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAffixing a Luger carbine stock (compatible for the sake of fun), which allows a clearer view of the pistol's rear end. It also allows a clearer view of...Error creating thumbnail: File missing...the updated sights, which lack the luminous dots of the original version.Error creating thumbnail: File missingFiring; between the stock and subsequent updates to recoil systems, the pistol's kick is actually manageable enough to merit use of the sights. The fact that the compensator has its own taller front sight that doesn't line up with the others does put a bit of a damper on this, unfortunately.
"Oversize M1911A1"
Update #52's 7th alpha build (the April Fools' Day special) included the so-called "Oversize" version of the M1911A1. As the name implies, it is substantially larger than the standard M1911A1, being more akin in size to a howitzer than a handgun; to facilitate human use, it is fitted with several RIS-type grips for handling, a rail on the side for sights (as attempting to aim with the standard slide-mounted irons would likely lead to the user being decapitated), and an equally massive bipod for more stable use.
It fires the ".45 ACP Oversize" round, which, amusingly, had already been added to the game several updates prior; many enterprising players combined this with the ability to cook off and/or directly strike the primers of loose rounds to set them off (introduced in Update #48), and the game's substantial amounts of freedom with regards to rail adaptor placement (or spacially-lockable platforms, for that matter) to create various devices to launch these rounds. This gun can also fire so-called MIRV rounds, standing for Multiple Independent Re-entry Vehicle. This is a term used for Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles (ICBMs) that carry clustered munitions (by "munitions," read "thermonuclear missiles") which separate in outer space and re-enter the earth's atmosphere as separately-guided missiles.
The so-called MIRV rounds for this gun however contain cluster munitions (fortunately not thermonuclear missiles, although that would be fascinating for the few milliseconds you were still alive for after they detonated) that detonate a few hundred meters away from the gun in mid-air (or on impact if sooner). This shows that far from being an MIRV, this type of round is essentially an artillery cluster bomb shell. One example of this type of round is the so-called ICM or Improved Conventional Munitions, an acronym that is not a million miles away from ICBM, which may be where the idea of MIRV came from. This is a moot point anyway given that it is impossible in practical terms to launch an unpowered projectile into space. Of course it goes without saying that this mistaken acronym completely ruins the otherwise totally realistic experience of firing a 10-foot-tall Colt 1911.
Error creating thumbnail: File missing"Huh? What's this? Why would someone make a massive 1911 magaz..."Error creating thumbnail: File missing"Oh."Error creating thumbnail: File missingLoading the massive magazine into the massive handgun. Awkward angles are all but mandatory.Error creating thumbnail: File missingRacking the slide (by way of the diagonally-attached handle on the side); this shot also shows that the rather literal hand-cannon is apparently made by "HEDEN GUN CO. INC" out of "HEDEN, .N.Y". This fictional manufacturer (complete with fictional town and mis-written postal code) is shared with the standard M1911A1 variants (which makes sense, as the Oversize is a scaled-up version thereof).Error creating thumbnail: File missingFiring a "Mortar" round (which, as previously shown, uses the model of a tracer, and as presently shown, looks like one when initially fired).Error creating thumbnail: File missingThis round is the simplest of the 3 available types, being an impact-detonated high-explosive shell, as seen here.Error creating thumbnail: File missingThat shell plus 6 more equals an empty artillery piece, meriting a mag swap; this is done by punching (yes, punching) the magazine release button...Error creating thumbnail: File missing...which, assuming that the gun is high enough off the ground, dumps out the magazine with a loud "CLUNK".Error creating thumbnail: File missingIf you're feeling tired after hefting around a literal artillery piece, no worries!Error creating thumbnail: File missingJust unfold the bipod, and take a load off.Error creating thumbnail: File missingA bit of futzing with the ammo spawning panel grants a magazine loaded with what appear to be jacketed hollowpoints; these are actually what are known as "Mega Buckshot" rounds.Error creating thumbnail: File missing""Mega Buckshot"? What on Earth could that possibly..."Error creating thumbnail: File missing"...wow. I don't know what I was expecting, but it sure as hell wasn't that."Error creating thumbnail: File missingFiring off another MBS round with the game's optional bullet trails enabled gives a better idea of just what "that" is: each shell fires several "pellets", if you will; upon hitting a surface, these "pellets" explode, releasing a burst of .50 BMG tracer projectiles.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLoading the last type of round directly into the chamber; this round, visually resembling an FMJ, is a MIRV (Multiple Indepent Reentry Vehicle) round. It's not every day that you see something with terminology more generally associated with long-range ballistic missiles being loaded into a handgun. With these essentially being artillery cluster shells as mentioned above, the lack of an adjustable fuze makes these impractical. Not that there's anything else impractical about this gun.Error creating thumbnail: File missingIf grabbing a hold of the slide-mounted grip and wrestling with the recoil spring directly just isn't your style, the slide release is always an option.Error creating thumbnail: File missingJust grab on, and yank downward with everything you've got.Error creating thumbnail: File missingOne of the more bizarre features of the weapon (yes, it gets more bizarre) is the exposed firing pin; should one not want to disturb a well lined-up shot, they can simply leave the pistol as-is, and hit the firing pin with another, smaller handgun, like this M29 here.Error creating thumbnail: File missingPreferably from slightly further away, assuming that you value your wrists more than a close view of the MIRV round's curious blue tracer. A real priorital toss-up, I know.Error creating thumbnail: File missingThanks to the magic of bullet trails, the MIRV round's mechanics can be more clearly seen; each shell starts out solid, then splits into 7 smaller explosive shells after a fixed period in mid-air (or just explodes all at once if it hits something first). If they had been genuine MIRV munitions, then 50 years from this shot being fired, a guy's grand-kids in a cave in the post-nuclear apocalypse would be asking him what led to the collapse of human civilization, to which his reply would be "Well kids, it all started with this guy in a desert who had a giant handgun..."
"Sound Check"
Added in Update #91 (the 2020 4th of July update), the "Sound Check" is a TF2-styled M1911A1, chambered in the fictitious ".52 AMP" ("Automatic Meaty Pistol") round, which had been added to the game several updates prior with nothing to fire it. The round comes in two forms: a standard FMJ, and a "Jacketed Hollow Patriot" round that fires 3 tracer flechettes per shot - one red, one white, and one blue. The name is a reference to the developer's devlog, which always begins with a sound check by mag-dumping an M1911.
Another weapon added in the fifth alpha of Update #85, the seldom-seen Colt Model 1903 Pocket Hammer is available; the in-game model has a deep-blued finish with gold inlays, a spur hammer, and pearl grips.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingColt Model 1903 Pocket Hammer with spur hammer - .38 ACPError creating thumbnail: File missingThe Pocket Hammer.Error creating thumbnail: File missingIncomplete sentences? Of course! What better weapon than a pearl-gripped 1903 for a rebel without a clause?Error creating thumbnail: File missingShoving in 7 rounds of John Browning's 1900-designed .38 ACP - not to be confused with John Browning's 1908-designed .380 ACP, of course. The latter is 9x17mm, whereas the former is 9x23mm - not to be confused, of course, with the 9x23mm Steyr, or the 9x23mm Winchester, or the dimensionally-identical-but-loaded-to-dramatically-higher-pressures .38 Super, because cartridge designations are fun.Error creating thumbnail: File missingChambering one of these sensibly-named rounds, showing off the interestingly bulged barrel; this is art of the pistol's short-recoil locking system, which distinguishes the 1903 Pocket Hammer from the straight-blowback 1903 Pocket Hammerless (which is, in spite of the name, hammer-fired) chambered in .32 ACP, which also has a near-identical variant known as the Model 1908 Pocket Hammerless in .380 ACP (not .38 ACP), not to be confused with the Model 1908 Vest Pocket, which is the same gun scaled down to .25 ACP, not to be confused with... you get the point.Error creating thumbnail: File missingPreparing to vent some frustration on a Sosig's head; being a turn-of-the-century pocket pistol, the irons are all but invisible.Error creating thumbnail: File missingPutting a 9-millimeter hole in the Sosig. Or is it .38-caliber? Or .357-caliber? .356? 103.285 gauge?Error creating thumbnail: File missingEjecting the pistol's magazine before its contents can do any more confuzzling. It's rain ov tearer iz ovur.
Colt Woodsman Match Target
One of the weapons added in the 2018 Halloween update (the main headline of which was the Return of the Rotweiners gamemode, a large-scale rogue-lite zombie RPG) was a Colt Woodsman Match Target .22 target pistol with gold-inlaid engravings and pearl grips; the pistol is exclusive to the mode by default, and can only be unlocked for general use by completing part of it.
One of the first firearms added to H3VR (before it even carried that name, in fact), along with the "Cartoon 8 Gauge" sawn-off shotgun, was the "Cyber Pistol", a fictional semi-automatic handgun with an integrated laser sight. It feeds from a 9-round single-stack magazine; this initially used a simple, proprietary round known only as "Cyber Pistol" ammunition; in Update #52, it was changed to use the same "10mm DSM" ammo as the LAPD 2019 Blaster. The Cyber Pistol isn't presently attainable through the standard item spawner, though some scenes feature an Easter egg fully-automatic version with infinite ammo, and the standard version can be obtained through random spawns in modes such as Take & Hold.
On Day 16 of the Meatmas 2022 Advent Calendar event, the game introduced a family of CZ Scorpion Evo 3 firearms; the smallest of the bunch was the S2 Micro Pistol variant.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingScorpion Evo 3 S2 Micro Pistol - 9x19mm ParabellumError creating thumbnail: File missingOpening up Day 16's gift reveals a small-scale smorgasbord of Evos; a welcome sight to almost all, save for the guy who's gonna have to go and screencap all of them.Error creating thumbnail: File missingTaking a closer look at the shortest of the bunch.Error creating thumbnail: File missingDon't let these images fool you - the irons don't come standard. This is the standard set; an alternative set were added concurrently, though owing to the nature of H3, you can put pretty much anything up there should you desire.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLocking back the charging handle...Error creating thumbnail: File missing...loading in a 20-round magazine...Error creating thumbnail: File missing...and witnessing the miracle of a slap that didn't happen between two frames. Marvel in the glory of actual bolt movement - you won't see this in a still image very often.Error creating thumbnail: File missingDisengaging the safety; since the civvie variants use the a lot of the same tooling as the select-fire versions, the recess in the lower receiver is big enough for 4 positions, despite there only being two.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAiming through the attached irons - they're about what you'd expect.Error creating thumbnail: File missingConversely, the recoil's a bit more than what one would expect, though this is mostly a product of it being held like an actual pistol here, rather than putting one hand on the forend - it makes lining the sights up for the camera easier.Error creating thumbnail: File missingWith 20 rounds being expended at about the same rate as the screencapper's patience, here's a shot of 3 things at once: the automatic bolt hold-open, the one-hand-accessible magazine release, and the now-modeled magazine follower. Let's hear it for efficiency!
"Deaglov"
One of the seven cursed guns added in Update #95, The Deaglov is a hybrid of the Makarov PM and Desert Eagle pistols, chambered in .32 ACP - namely, it features the Desert Eagle's barrel and slide, scaled down to fit the Makarov's frame. The Deaglov is tied with the Tomacuzi as the fourth hybrid firearm added to the game.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingDesert Eagle Mk XIX - .50 AEError creating thumbnail: File missingMakarov PM - 9x18mm MakarovError creating thumbnail: File missing"Alright, you two. Explain."Error creating thumbnail: File missingTaking a look at the Deaglov; the slide markings read "CURSED RESEARCH INC. PM EAGLE". Befitting of such a weapon, these markings are also in Comic Sans.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLoading a magazine into the pistol; these are a double-stack affair visually resembling those of some more modern Makarov variants (e.g. the PMM), and hold 14 rounds of .32 ACP.Error creating thumbnail: File missingRacking the slide reveals that the Deaglov retains the Desert Eagle's rotating bolt head (and presumably its gas-operated action as well); needless to say, this is a bit overkill for a .32. Then again, it wouldn't be the first time...Error creating thumbnail: File missingAiming at some floating drywall; the relatively large, square sights are easy to use, though their lack of color can make them hard to pick up in darker (or just grayer) environments.Error creating thumbnail: File missingPopping off a .32. One can just make out what's left of a dying muzzle flash to the left of the plaster blocks.Error creating thumbnail: File missingDumping a magazine out of the pistol, at an angle that doesn't really make much sense. Then again, not much else about the gun does either.Error creating thumbnail: File missingTrue to the original Deagle's barrel design, the Deaglov features an optics rail; aside from being at least somewhat fitting contextually, the Russian-made OKP-7 sight actually works far better than one would expect.
Desert Eagle L5
One of the six gifts added with the 25th and final day of the Meatmas 2018 event (5 firearms and one attachment) was a Desert Eagle; more specifically, a .357 Magnum-chambered Desert Eagle L5, a short-barreled lightweight version meant to comply with certain legal restrictions (some US states having a ban on any handgun over 50 ounces (approx. 1.4 kg)). This variant completed the in-game trifecta of the 3 standard Desert Eagle calibers: .357 Magnum, .44 Magnum, and .50 AE (excluding more obscure and rare chamberings, like .440 Cor-Bon, .41 Magnum, and .429 DE). This is, notably, the first documented appearance of this particular Desert Eagle variant in any known form of media.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingMagnum Research Desert Eagle L5 - .50 AEError creating thumbnail: File missingHow fitting that the variant given on Christmas is the only one small enough to actually fit into one of these gift boxes like this. And, for that matter, quite likely the only one that's light enough to not rip a hole in the bottom when you hold it from the sides.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLoading the truncated Desert Eagle. Being chambered in .357, each one of these magazines holds 9 rounds.Error creating thumbnail: File missingPausing for a moment to strike a pose that would probably look a whole lot cooler from anybody else's perspective.Error creating thumbnail: File missing"Aww, don't listen to them! I think you're a very handsome young man. Besides, I'm sure you'll grow into your frame by the time you hit college. Just look at your father! He wasn't very big either when he was your age, but then he hit his growth spurt in high school, and ZWOOP! Up he went! Here, I think we have some of his old pictures from his middle school days somewhere around here..."Error creating thumbnail: File missingRacking the L5, in an attempt to intimidate away the crippling loneliness that causes one to apply human personalities to firearms and vent to strangers in database pages.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLining up the sights, and...Error creating thumbnail: File missing"See! Look at you! I knew you could do it! You're doing great, especially for your age! And if all those other kids don't want to let you be their friend, then you know what I think? I think that that's. Their. Loss. Now, if you want, we could go downtown and get some ice cre-"Error creating thumbnail: File missingNO! STAY OUT OF MY HEAD, DAMN IT!Error creating thumbnail: File missingOne shot in illusion plus eight in self-doubting anger equals nine, and that equals an empty pistol.Error creating thumbnail: File missingThis, of course, merits a mag-flick so tacticool that it breaks the laws of the universe. And maybe some therapy. The accident was thirteen years ago. You were just a little boy. I was drinking that night. There was nothing you could have done. It's time for you to move on. You can't keep living like this. You have to let go...
Desert Eagle Mark VII
A Desert Eagle Mark VII, chambered in .44 Magnum is one of the available firearms in-game. It was added in Update #26, an update that (perhaps more significantly) also added the Meat Grinder gamemode. The in-game model also has Mark XIX slide serations and can mount attachments, despite lacking the rail necessary to do so.
On April Fools' Day of 2018, Update #52's 7th alpha build was released. Among other things, this included the "Degle.50", a cardboard Desert Eagle held together with duct tape. The weapon was meant as a joke response to a poorly-spelled Steam request for a replica of the Desert Eagle seen in Blue Estate. It fires the ".50 Imaginary" round, of which several types (with names just as eloquent as that of the pistol itself) are available. To top it off, all of the Degle's sound effects were created by game director Anton Hand - not mixed, mind you, but literally created - the sounds are all Anton saying various onomatopoeia associated with the weapon's functions.
Error creating thumbnail: File missing"a wepon 2 sirpas metle geer".Error creating thumbnail: File missingLoading a cardboard magazine into the cardboard pistol. These magazines hold 8 rounds; a real .50 Desert Eagle's magazine holds only seven, but then again, this isn't even supposed to be a "real" Desert Eagle in-game.Error creating thumbnail: File missingOne of the more curious elements of the Degle is its fully functional safety, seen here in the "safe" position...Error creating thumbnail: File missing...and here in the "fire" position, with each manipulation of the switch producing an audibly bearded "tink".Error creating thumbnail: File missingPulling back the slide; note that, interestingly, the Degle's black marker markings are written slightly differently on either side of the barrel, reflecting its small-hand-made nature.Error creating thumbnail: File missingDemonstrating a small child's understanding of the concept called "aiming"; the cardboard sights are actually more serviceable than one might think, not that this shot really shows that.Error creating thumbnail: File missingThe Degle in full recoil; yes, it even ejects cardboard casings.Error creating thumbnail: File missingA list of the various types of .50 Imaginary rounds available, seen here in the ammo spawning panel. From top to bottom: "BOOOMY" (fragmenting explosive) rounds, "FLASHY" (tracer) rounds, the currently-selected "MEGA!!1!" rounds, "NERMAL" (normal) rounds, "POINTYOWW!" (armor-piercing) rounds, and "SOOPER SPESHUL" (high-velocity) rounds.Error creating thumbnail: File missingTaking a look at a magazine filled with "SOOPER SPESHUL" rounds...Error creating thumbnail: File missing...and loading it full of "NERMAL" cardboard rounds.Error creating thumbnail: File missingThe use of the game's optional bullet trails reveals that these have more or less the ballistics one would expect out of a piece of cardboard fired from another piece of cardboard. Nermal indeed.Error creating thumbnail: File missingOn the other hand, the "SOOPER SPESHUL" rounds fly straight as an arrow. Also note the exaggerated cloud of smoke, yet another by-product of this being a child's interpretation of how a gun works.Error creating thumbnail: File missingThe "BOOOMY" ammo, which produces a suitably impressive spray of red glowing shrapnel.Error creating thumbnail: File missingTaking a look at a magazine full of blue-tipped "MEGA!!1!" rounds through the locked-open slide's ejection port; the cardboard rounds are, in fact, color-coded. But u cant see wat da MEGA bullitz do, becuz its SOOOOOOOPER SEEKRIT!!1!1!!!1
Desert Eagle Mark XIX
To compliment the .44 Mark VII, Update #58 added a Desert Eagle Mark XIX in .50 Action Express. The in-game handgun is a more recent Magnum Research model, with rails on the barrel and frame, and a ported barrel. On Day 10 of the Meatmas 2022 Advent Calendar event, not only did the Desert Eagle .50 AE get a model refresh, it was also joined by several other variants; one with a 10-inch barrel, one with a 14-inch barrel, and one with a different 14-inch barrel with a custom barrel attachment, similar to the one from Peacemaker.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingDesert Eagle Mk I with 14 inch barrel - .357 MagnumError creating thumbnail: File missingThe longerer Deagle, in all its silly glory. While 10" barrels are a current factory option from MRI, the 14" version seems to have gone out of production before the Mark VII entered it, likely due to the understandably limited amount of customer interest in such a thing. As such, this Picatinny-railed 14-incher is presumably a custom job.Error creating thumbnail: File missingBut hey, if you for some reason need that little extra bit of muzzle velocity out of your already-nonsensical handcannon - like, say, when performing a point-blank execution on a downed Sosig - then I suppose this'll certainly help.
"Desert Eagle 50 Longslide"
Error creating thumbnail: File missingAnd, finally, this variant - not any longererer, but certainly a fair bit girthier. Note that, as this shot shows, the "Longslide" moniker is a bit misleading; the actual slide is the same length, with the component that's actually been extended being the barrel. Aside from making it look a bit less... protuberant, and smoothing out the pistol's lines a bit, the extra weight on the underside of the barrel helps compensate for the recoil, among other things.Error creating thumbnail: File missingOf course, put a gun as ridiculous as the Desert Eagle in a game as ridiculous as H3, and you can guess what's going to happen. The resulting mod setups can range from "reasonably tasteful", as seen here, to "whoever made that should be misinformed about which end the bullets come out of".
FN Five-seveN
Update #58 added a much-requested handgun, the FN Five-seveN. The in-game weapon is a USG model, the most common of the bunch (despite no longer being in production), and has an FDE frame. The name "Five-seveN" refers to the pistol's 5.7x28mm ammunition, which unlike Heckler & Koch's rival 4.6mm round is not completely useless as pistol ammunition. The capitalization used in the Five-seveN's name is to highlight the "FN" in FN Herstal's name, as well as presumably to appeal to fans of American thrash metal.
So far the only known media appearance of this fairly rare French machine pistol, the UNION was a version of the Ruby capable of full-auto fire. It had a distinctive 35-round horseshoe magazine, which is replicated in-game.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingFrench UNION with magazine and loading tool - .32 ACPError creating thumbnail: File missingWhen you have a game with the word "Horseshoes" in the name, you need to have a gun involving horseshoes. It's just mandatory.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLoading in the magazine...Error creating thumbnail: File missing...which results in something exactly as ridiculous-looking as you'd expect.Error creating thumbnail: File missingPulling back the UNION's slide.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAiming; this is a rather pointless activity, considering both the weapon's lack of sights and its short effective range.Error creating thumbnail: File missingUnleashing a barrage of .32 ACP rounds.Error creating thumbnail: File missing35 of the aforementioned rounds later, the UNION locks open, showing off the fluting of the barrel, which is normally covered by the slide.Error creating thumbnail: File missingA closeup of the pistol, following a quick mag change. This shows off the labeled witness holes in the magazine (which actually allow for the viewing of cartridges in-game, and are placed every 5 rounds, starting at 15), as well as the markings, which read "PISTOLET AUTOMATIQUE FRANCAIS" on the first line, "FABRIQUE A STETIENNE-CAL 7.65" on the second, "UNION" both on the grip and to the right of the other slide markings (in quotation marks on the latter, oddly enough), and "TRADE MARK" surrounding a manufacturer's logo in the center of the grip panel. While not visible here, the front of the lower frame indicates that the serial number is 0424, and the magazine is marked "CHARGEUR "UNION" CAL.7/65 BTE S.G.D.G".Error creating thumbnail: File missingJust in case it wasn't ridiculous enough already, the unique magazine shape of the UNION allows for... this.Error creating thumbnail: File missingThat, in turn, allows for a particularly enterprising lunatic to do this. And they said that the engine didn't support loose chains...
Glock 17
Update #53 added a series of 9x19mm Glock pistols, the first of which being the ubiquitous Glock 17 to H3VR, specifically a 4th-generation model. It comes in 2 flavors - vanilla, and "Custom", the latter having a flared magazine well, raised aftermarket iron sights, a slide-mounted red dot sight, and a modified slide resembling the ZEV Technologies Dragonfly, with diagonal slide serrations and milling cuts around the barrel. It also comes with a unique 20-round magazine, interchangeable with the other 9mm Glocks.
Update #92 replaced the former gun's model, largely because its textures did not play nicely with the game's lighting system; the replacement model is a 3rd-generation version.
Update #92 added a 4th-generation Glock 18C as a more modern alternative, as the only other modern machine pistol had been the Glock 22 Full-Auto Mod. Factory made Glock 18C pistols aren't currently known to exist in Gen 4, though there are some Khyber Pass copies in this configuration.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingGlock 18C (3rd generation) - 9x19mm Parabellum. Note that the compensator cuts that set this model apart from the standard Glock 18 are not visible from this angle.Error creating thumbnail: File missingGlock 17 (4th generation) - 9x19mm Parabellum. Image provided to show the Gen 4 features, namely the interchangeable backstrap, more aggressive grip texture, and larger magazine release.Error creating thumbnail: File missingChecking out some of the new gear in the Meatmas Snowglobe scene. While this may appear at first glance to be just another Glock with a funny-colored slide, a closer inspection reveals that it is actually...Error creating thumbnail: File missing...another fully-automatic Glock with a funny-colored slide.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLoading in a standard 17-round magazine; since this particular Glock came in the same update as the replacement G17 model, these are the latter gun's magazines, modeled witness holes and all.Error creating thumbnail: File missingChambering a round; here the compensator cuts in the top of the slide and barrel are visible.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAnd here, their effects are visible - good for recoil management, not so much for actually seeing what you're shooting at.Error creating thumbnail: File missingA good view of the standard factory Patridge sights, as seen just after popping another Weinerbot in the dome.Error creating thumbnail: File missingSure, semi-auto's all well and good and practical, but why not have a little fun?Error creating thumbnail: File missingAs it turns out, a 17-round magazine is why not, especially when the fun in question occurs at 1,200 RPM.Error creating thumbnail: File missingSolution: a 50-round drum.Error creating thumbnail: File missingWith that problem sorted, it's back to merrily hosing down Weinerbots. Fun times all around, excluding a small cone extending directly from the muzzle.
Glock 19
The third (or, again, fourth if the customized G17 is counted) and final Update #53 Glock is a 3rd-gen Glock 19 with an FDE frame and a extended threaded barrel. Before it was made a usable weapon, a cartoonish-looking compact-sized Glock was made available to Soldier Weinerbots in Update #46.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingGlock 19 - 9x19mm ParabellumError creating thumbnail: File missingLooking over the G19; the "19", "AUSTRIA", and "9x19" markings are present, but the manufacturer's trademark is conspicuously absent.Error creating thumbnail: File missingThe other side of the Glock. Not much to say here. Well, not without starting a debate about Flat Dark Earth finishes, anyway.Error creating thumbnail: File missingMashing a 33-round magazine into the pistol. The G19 has no magazine of its own; presumably, this is due to the fact that while the other 9x19mm Glocks' magazines can fit into the G19, the G19's 15-rounder can't fit into the larger models, and H3's code doesn't support that sort of one-way compatibility.Error creating thumbnail: File missingPutting the first of the 33 aforementioned cartridges into the chamber.Error creating thumbnail: File missingA look at the sights; unlike the G17 and G18 (but like the G22), the G19 uses 3-dot irons.Error creating thumbnail: File missingThe alpha build of Update #69 changed these dots from white to a bright, luminous green, making the sights easier to use in low-light environments, at the cost of making them harder to use in high-radioactive-waste environments.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLetting a 9x19mm round fly.
Glock 22
The Glock 22 is one of the available handguns in-game, added in Update #5; a version converted to fire in full-auto was added in a later update.
The Glock 41 was added in Update #105 Alpha 2, simply referred to as the "G41"; its inclusion means that, factoring out frame width, all but two of the main Glock sizes are available in H3 (i.e. standard, compact, and competition models are present, while subcompact and longslide models aren't).
Stealth-added as a rare drop in Take & Hold and Meat Grinder, the "Gluger" is (as the name would imply) a hybrid of a Glock and a Luger - to be exact, it's a Glock 19 frame with a Luger P08 barrel, toggle system, and upper frame.
The fourth alpha of Update #85 added another long-requested handgun - the Heckler & Koch Mark 23, complete with its distinctive attachable LAM.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingHeckler & Koch Mark 23 - .45 ACPError creating thumbnail: File missingSkulking about in a secret underground purple-manufacturing facility, Solid Steak draws his Mark 23.Error creating thumbnail: File missingHe then turns off the safety.Error creating thumbnail: File missingExamining the other side of the pistol; note the lack of front cocking serrations, showing this to be a production model, rather than the prototypes that some games depict.Error creating thumbnail: File missingBeing the strong, capable agent that he is, Steak forgoes having a loader, and instead simply loads and operates his crew-served handgun alone.Error creating thumbnail: File missingChambering a round (and appropriately tilting the barrel upwards); seeing as this is an Offensive Handgun Weapon System, what else would this be but .45 ACP?Error creating thumbnail: File missingAiming at a wall, waiting for an exclamation mark to pop up above it.Error creating thumbnail: File missing"Maybe it was the right thing to do, maybe it wasn't. I don't know, and I'm not sure if I ever will. All I know is that, in that moment, I had a choice: me, or the wall. The fact that I'm saying this should tell you which one I chose."Error creating thumbnail: File missingHaving finished his brooding, Steak dramatically pitches an empty magazine into the floor.Error creating thumbnail: File missingOf course, what's the point of a SOCOM without the fixings? The suppressor was already in the game (having been added along with the "QC9 PDW"), while the proprietary (i.e. not Picatinny-compatible) LAM unit was implemented for this gun alone.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAs with the real deal, it has multiple functions: there's a laser...Error creating thumbnail: File missing...a flashlight...Error creating thumbnail: File missing...and (C), all of the above. The real deal also has IR options, but implementing night-vision goggles into a game like H3 would require more time, effort, and bug-hunting than would ultimately be worth it.Error creating thumbnail: File missingEngaging in the time-honored tradition of camping in the enemy team's spawn with a decked-out Mark 23; recoil reduction can be achieved with a spare magazine in the off-hand, allowing you to put your Harries technique practice to good use even with an underbarrel flashlight.
Heckler & Koch SP5K
One of the many Heckler & Koch MP5 variants added in Update #63, the SP5K is a civilian semi-auto-only variant of the MP5K, and can be considered a current-day equivalent to H&K's earlier SP89. H3VR is the first piece of media known to include the SP5K. It accounts for 4 of the update's 28 MP5 variants, all of which differ in stocks: the standard SP5K doesn't have one, the "SP5KA2" has a fixed stock, the "SP5KA3" has a collapsible stock, and the "SP5K Folding" has a PDW-style folding stock. These are relatively in keeping with standard MP5 naming conventions (though H&K isn't known to use the word "folding" in any of its firearm names), but are all fictional - the SP5K is intended for the US civilian market as a "pistol" (which is why it is on the H3VR pistol page, even though technically it is a compact carbine), and giving it a stock would make it subject to NFA regulations on short-barreled rifles; while a stocked SP5K could be created, it isn't a factory product, and anyone who created/purchased one would have to pay $200.00 USD to the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives to own it.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingHeckler & Koch SP5K - 9x19mm ParabellumError creating thumbnail: File missingJumping right on into things, and pulling back the SP5K's charging handle.Error creating thumbnail: File missingWhat's this locking notch for, you ask? Well, in the words of a certain mouse (whose name shan't be mentioned here, for fear of copyright infringement), "It's a surprise tool that will help us later!"Error creating thumbnail: File missingPausing the into-things-jumping for a second to admire the SP5K.Error creating thumbnail: File missingThe other side. Note the paddle-style magazine release in front of the trigger guard; this was later removed, as it isn't a feature of the actual SP5K. This is due to the fact that the paddle magazine release on a standard MP5 is attached to the front receiver pin, which isn't included on civilian semi-auto lower receivers. This, in turn, is due to BATFE regulations on automatic weapons; civilian MP5 lowers don't use the standard receiver pin setup, because if they did, then the BATFE would regulate them as machine guns, on the grounds that one could easily affix a select-fire MP5 trigger group to the otherwise semi-auto firearm and make it fully-automatic.Error creating thumbnail: File missingBeing, as mentioned, aimed at civilians, the SP5K's selector switch has only 2 settings: "no bullets"...Error creating thumbnail: File missing...and "one bullet".
One of a pair of USPs added in Update #69, the Heckler & Koch USP Match adds to H3's pool of available .45s. The irony of a gun with a "six-inch" barrel being added in Update #69 may have been noted by those readers whose minds are in the gutter.
Update #87, which carried a general theme of Half-Life 2 (in part due to the release of Half-Life: Alyx a couple days prior), added an additional variant of the USP Match chambered in 9x19mm.
The Hi-Point CF380 was added on day 1 of Meatmas 2022, under the simple name "HPoint 380". Two variants were added: a standard variant, and the other was a "Tactical" variant with a bright pink camouflage (if it can really be called that) finish; while the latter may seem like nothing more than a joke, it is actually a legitimate factory-offered variant called the "CF380 Camo PI".
Error creating thumbnail: File missingHi-Point CF380 - .380 ACPError creating thumbnail: File missingThe two Hi-Points, in their somewhat oversized box. Hey, it simplifies logistics - these things have to be able to fit just about anything.Error creating thumbnail: File missingExamining the Hi-Point. It's not exactly the gun you want, but it might just be the gun you need. Or at least the one you can afford.Error creating thumbnail: File missingDisengaging the safety.Error creating thumbnail: File missingWith this having proven sufficient to deter any further photo-bombing, loading of the pistol may resume in peace.Error creating thumbnail: File missingChambering the first of these 8 rounds with a sharp yank of the mostly-Zamak slide.Error creating thumbnail: File missingHaving boarded a train, our (low-income) neighborhood hero gives the familiar red-and-yellow irons a look...Error creating thumbnail: File missing...before falling victim to the weapon's in-built stereotypes, and performing a drive-by shooting on the local populace. From a holiday-themed choo-choo train.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLuckily, given the shooting method used for this, it doesn't harm anything other than the property values. At full size, the magazine's spring and follower are visible, a nice detail.Error creating thumbnail: File missingHi-Point CF380 Camo PI - .380 ACPError creating thumbnail: File missingPerhaps an upgrade will help with matters? While a bit difficult to make out, the markings are visible here - they feature an inverted triangle logo (as opposed to the real pistol's right-side-up one), and state that it is a "MODEL LP380" from "LO-POINT FIREARMS". While an obvious spoof of the actual company (and perhaps a nod to the fact that most people purchasing them aren't exactly at a "Hi-Point" in their lives), this is not a wholly fictitious designation - 3D-printed firearms group CTRL+Pew offer a printable Hi-Point C9/CF380 frame under the same name.Error creating thumbnail: File missingOh, and a clarification on an earlier point (no pun intended): the pink "camo" finish and compensator are factory options; the ventilated slide, laser, and RDS mount are not. Here, the markings on the "LazyLite" laser sight and the probably-an-airsoft-clone "Tritium" red-dot sight are visible.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLoading in an extended magazine; 10 rounds of .380 is still not that much, but it's objectively an improvement.Error creating thumbnail: File missingTaking advantage of the slide's heat vents/lightening cuts/speed holes by using them as makeshift front cocking serrations, and performing a tacti-cool press-check.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAiming; the red-dot mount includes its own rear sight, though it lacks the standard version's red paint. There would still be two red dots in this image, but the aforementioned laser sight, befitting its name, doesn't actually work. Regardless, these upgrades should make it easier to...Error creating thumbnail: File missing...you never learn, do you? Ah, well. Keeping the rent low is a heroic act in its own right, I suppose.Error creating thumbnail: File missingEven with the 25% increase to capacity, the gun still runs empty before too long. Note the safety lever; prior to a patch, this incorrectly doubled as a slide lock/release (as opposed to the actual pistol, whose slide lock is internal).Error creating thumbnail: File missingWhat's that old expression? "A bad carpenter blames his tools"?
Hudson H9
The Hudson H9 was added in the full release of Update #105, under the name "HH9".
Error creating thumbnail: File missingHudson H9 - 9x19mm ParabellumError creating thumbnail: File missingAdmiring the H9's futuristic lines under the faint pink lighting of (this area of) the Proving Ground's combat arena.Error creating thumbnail: File missingThe other side; note the wear and scratches on the pistol (primarily the slide, with a few smaller marks on the frame). We'd say it's seen some use, but it was effectively created out of thin air by the Item Spawner about 2 minutes before this shot was taken, so make of that what you will.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLoading in one of the H9's (proprietary) magazines; these hold 15 rounds, and feature fully-modeled witness holes.Error creating thumbnail: File missingChambering a round, all the while noting the tilting barrel - this feature is more or less universal in-game, at least for the guns that're supposed to have it.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAiming at a distant ladder, suspecting that it might be planning to tell people about a variant that's not ready yet.Error creating thumbnail: File missingSadly, all the pre-emptive strikes in the world can't fix what's already been done. I guess you'll just have to settle for playing with a virtual H9 - that, or snag one from GunBroker at a ludicrous markup.Error creating thumbnail: File missingMidway through an anger-management session (with the involuntary aid of some Sosigs), the Hudson locks empty; this merits a suitably flashy tactical reload.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAlright, we'll admit it, this one's just a glamor shot.Error creating thumbnail: File missingThis one too. There would've been more neat CAR stance footage to use for screenshots, but the frankly ludicrous vertical offset of the screen recording made most of this footage useless.
Intratec TEC-9
The Intratec TEC-9 is one of the game's available firearms; it has a rather strange "tacticool" orange paintjob. Initially, 2 versions were available - a standard semi-auto variant, and a variant converted to full-auto; Update #53 changed the latter into a converted Interdynamic KG-9, leaving only the standard semi-auto version. The semi-auto variant's model was then replaced with a more accurately-proportioned one in Update #105's first experimental build.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingIntratec TEC-9 - 9x19mm ParabellumError creating thumbnail: File missingSomeone regrets lending his TEC-9 to those CS:GO boys down the street.Error creating thumbnail: File missingStrange paintjobs notwithstanding, he loads in a magazine...Error creating thumbnail: File missing...chambers a round...Error creating thumbnail: File missing...and opens fire, spraying 9x19mm tracer rounds left, right, and center. This is the full-auto converted model, in case the continuous stream of spent casings didn't make that clear enough. This is somewhat odd, as most full-auto TEC-9s are the earlier open-bolt KG-9 model, but a full-auto conversion of a closed-bolt TEC-9 is far from impossible. Still, Update #53 swapped this out for the more common open-bolt variant.Error creating thumbnail: File missingTaking a look at the sights, back in a location that's at least in the general vicinity of "normal"...Error creating thumbnail: File missing...and firing a single shot out of the substantially less interesting semi-auto version.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAdmiring the new, cleaned-up TEC-9, out in the equally-new GP_Hangar prototype scene.Error creating thumbnail: File missingIn lieu of simply taking the paint off, the gun's been replaced entirely; apparently, an attempt was made, but the plan fell through - something about dichloromethane-based paint thinner not getting along with a plastic-framed gun.Error creating thumbnail: File missingPausing partway through loading the Intratec, and appreciating how the magazines are now properly double-stacked.Error creating thumbnail: File missingChambering a round, with a likewise-properly-sized bolt.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAiming at a steel silhouette target; being a slightly different model, the new TEC-9 has a different (i.e. noticeably wider) style of front sight.Error creating thumbnail: File missingFiring off a round; sadly, the somewhat large front end of the TEC-9 tends to lead to the recoil obscuring such proportionately-small targets. The fact that said recoil comes from a straight-blowback pistol with about a pound of steel for a bolt and a stratospheric bore axis that was not really meant to be held like a normal handgun doesn't really help either.Error creating thumbnail: File missingHaving given up its supply of ammunition, the magazine has nothing left to offer but a view of its nicely-modeled follower.
Iver Johnson/Lyman Cobb Prototype
The first experimental build of Update #105 brought a rare prototype pistol produced by Iver Johnson, based on a design patented by Lyman H. Cobb in 1911. Named the 'Cobb Pistol', this is rather obviously its first representation in media.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingLyman H. Cobb Pistol - .32 ACPError creating thumbnail: File missingExamining the Cobb. For being a prototype, it's pretty well-finished.Error creating thumbnail: File missingThe opposite side. The checkered bar just behind the trigger is, interestingly enough, a grip safety; it's meant to be held down with the right thumb. For a left-handed shooter, good luck.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLoading in a magazine; while proprietary, these are relatively normal in design, and hold 8 rounds.Error creating thumbnail: File missingPausing for a moment to fiddle with the safety; the markings are (or rather, marking is) self-explanatory.Error creating thumbnail: File missingPulling back the distinctive bolt/cocking knob, and chambering a round.Error creating thumbnail: File missingNeedless to say, the sights on the Cobb are best enjoyed with salt and butter rather difficult to make out.Error creating thumbnail: File missingTaking a closer look. Actually firing it like this is probably not the greatest idea.Error creating thumbnail: File missingPunching a hole through the "Relish Emporium" logo, with the hole-punch held a suitable distance from its wielder's face; for a .32 pocket gun, recoil's about what you'd expect.Error creating thumbnail: File missingHaving successfully re-branded the target "ReOiOO OmoOrOOO", the Cobb locks open; the magazine is quickly discarded, and a note is hastily thrown in about how it lacks a slide release (and thus has to be tugged and let go to drop the bolt) before any corny jokes can sneak their way in.
IWI Uzi Pro
Update #53 added an IWI Uzi Pro Pistol. True to its real-life nature, it is treated in-game as a semi-auto-only closed-bolt pistol, rather the machine pistol that it is sometimes assumed to be.
Update #50 added a Kimber Warrior, fitted with non-standard grip panels, raised red illuminated iron sights, and a permanently-attached red dot sight, known as the "M1911A1 Tactical". The sixth alpha build of Update #52 added a further customized model, with a slide with milling cuts, a different slide-mounted RDS, and bone grips, called the "M1911A1 Operator".
Error creating thumbnail: File missingKimber Warrior - .45 ACPError creating thumbnail: File missingA nice, close look at the Kimber Warrior. Also seen here is the indoor range's target board; it leaves a black mark wherever a shot is placed on the corresponding target downrange, with the most recent hit being red.Error creating thumbnail: File missingA view through the Warrior's integrated RDS, which also shows off the co-witnessed illuminated sights. Meanwhile, RSOs around the world wince at the direction that the pistol is pointed.Error creating thumbnail: File missingThe Warrior, locked open after a successful mag dump. The extended magazine seen here was added to the game with the weapon, holds 11 rounds, and can be freely interchanged with the standard 7-rounders.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLoading a new magazine into the Warrior.
"M1911A1 Operator"
Error creating thumbnail: File missingExamining the left side of the "Operator"...Error creating thumbnail: File missing...and the right side. Due to a now-patched bug, the trigger is inside of the magazine well, similar to the Colt Defender above. The slide markings denote the pistol (or at least the slide) as being made by the fictitious "SNOW TIGER FIREARMS INC".Error creating thumbnail: File missingFollowing the aforementioned patch, the pistol looks like this. The pistol's fictional manufacturers apparently saw fit to put their PO box number on the slide, and the end owner saw it equally appropriate to write "#03" on the red-dot sight. As you do.Error creating thumbnail: File missingPulling the now-visible trigger, while showing off the other side's markings. The markings on the frame all but confirm the gun's identity; after all, Kimber is the only gun company based in Yonkers, NY.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAiming the Operator. Like the earlier Tactical model, the Operator has an integrated red-dot sight, albeit a different, higher-profile model than the earlier pistol.Error creating thumbnail: File missingFiring a round. As with all the other M1911 variants, it's chambered in .45 ACP.Error creating thumbnail: File missingReplacing the now-empty magazine with a fresh one.Error creating thumbnail: File missingFinishing off the reload with a quick tug of the slide. Note that the slide is further back here than it was in the previous shot; H3 does, in fact, show that a weapon's bolt or slide can be pulled back past its lock point.
Kolibri Pistol
The largest gift added in the 2018 Month Of Meatmas event was also the smallest (centerfire) pistol in existence, the diminutive Austro-Hungarian Kolibri Pistol. The pistol was added following a long series of community requests to add the pistol (dating back all the way to 2016); the acknowledged impossibility of adding the pistol (as its minuscule size would result in the player smacking their VR controllers together whenever they tried to, say, load it) led to asking for its inclusion becoming a running joke within the game's community. The version in-game took this joke to its logical conclusion; it is known as the "Kolibri9001", and is 10 times larger than normal, firing 27x90mm shells. Like the "Oversized" version of the M1911A1 added earlier, these proprietary shells are available in several exotic and unusual forms; also like the earlier artillery piece, the Kolibri9001 is modified for use by a normal-sized human being, being fitted with an M1911A1's lower frame and trigger in place of its own, and an underbarrel railed handguard seemingly based on that of an AR-15-pattern rifle, which has an integrated laser sight tucked into the center.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingKolibri Pistol (with US penny for scale) - 2.7x9mm KolibriError creating thumbnail: File missing"And what to my wondering eyes should appear, but the world's smallest pistol, the size of a deer."Error creating thumbnail: File missingExamining the Kolibri9001. A lovely example of malicious compliance. The hard-to-make-out marking just above the ejection port reads "AUTOMAT-PISTOL", just like on the real steel. There'd be no reason for the markings to be obfuscated, after all; the Austro-Hungarian watchmaker Franz Pfannl, who created the pistol, no longer exists, and neither does his company.Error creating thumbnail: File missingThe other side. Considering the grip arrangement, this could technically be classified as a bullpup.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAnd, considering the rounds it uses, it's also technically a cannon.Error creating thumbnail: File missingSpeaking of rounds, it's about time that some got loaded, isn't it?Error creating thumbnail: File missingThis is followed by quite possibly the single most awkward sling-shotting of a pistol's slide in human history.Error creating thumbnail: File missingGiving the integrated underbarrel laser sight a try. It's pretty convenient, especially since the Kolibri doesn't have a front sight (and the rear one isn't exactly usable).Error creating thumbnail: File missingFiring off some Frag shells at a snowflake. Poor thing never knew what hit it...Error creating thumbnail: File missingUnlike a normal-sized Kolibri (if you can really call a Kolibri's size "normal"), the Kolibri9001 has a slide hold-open device. This conveniently allows the user to clearly see what sort of ammo is being used; here, the first of 6 HEAT shells lies in wait.Error creating thumbnail: File missingHEAT shells, contrary to what one might expect based on the name, are not incendiary; "HEAT" stands for "High-Explosive Anti-Tank", and refers to armor-piercing shells meant for use against, well, tanks.Error creating thumbnail: File missingShould one wish to bring some actual heat, the napalm-launching "Inferno" rounds are always a good option...Error creating thumbnail: File missing...provided, that is, that your computer can withstand the resultant onslaught of particle effects without winding up looking like them.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAnother fun option are the "Megabuck" shells, which function like buckshot...Error creating thumbnail: File missing...except instead of small lead pellets, they launch six .50 BMG tracer projectiles. Use against an actual buck is not advised, unless you like your venison in burger form.Error creating thumbnail: File missingRemember those shells from earlier? Here's the "Smokescreen", which launches out 2 projectiles per shot...Error creating thumbnail: File missing...each one, as the name would imply, generating a cloud of smoke. Useful for hiding small towns.Error creating thumbnail: File missingThe "Tri-Flash" shells also do pretty exactly what they say on the can, firing out 3 impact-fused flashbangs at a time. The effects are roughly similar to picking up your phone in the middle of the night to check a text and forgetting that you have the brightness all the way up. While the demon that lives under your bed randomly sets off a bunch of M-80s in your pillowcase.
Lahti L-35
The Lahti L-35 was added in the third experimental build of Update #110.
A companion to the "Gluger" above, the "Llock" is also a rare drop in Take & Hold and Meat Grinder; as the name implies, it is the inverse of the Gluger, with a Glock 19 slide and barrel on a Luger P08 frame.
The fourth alpha build of Update #76 added another much-requested firearm, the Makarov PM. By default it (correctly) uses an 8-round single-stack magazine, though Update #90 added an optional 80-round drum.
"...with something else. You can at least die with some dignity."
Makarov PMM
Update #100 Alpha 3 added the Makarov PMM with a twelve round magazine. This model comes with an integrated laser sight attached to the trigger guard.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingMakarov PMM - 9x18mm MakarovError creating thumbnail: File missingPreparing for a quick mission in a suitably snowy area, an operative checks over his Makarov.Error creating thumbnail: File missingThe PMM's other side, showing off the pressure switch for the integrated laser sight.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAnd the safety, which he promptly disengages. Perhaps a bit too promptly, but don't tell him that.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLoading in a magazine; one of the notable features of the PMM is its use of double-stack magazines, as opposed to the original PM's thinner single-stacks.Error creating thumbnail: File missingRacking the slide, and chambering a round.Error creating thumbnail: File missingOut in the AO, he checks the sights; they're a bit small, but relatively easy to read against the highly-contrasting snow.Error creating thumbnail: File missingGetting right to business, he tries to take out the target from a distance, hoping to make it in and out as easily as the briefing implied.Error creating thumbnail: File missingNeedless to say, the guards of said target weren't on board with that idea.Error creating thumbnail: File missing12 rounds into the ensuing gunfight, the pistol's magazine runs empty; sadly, the same can't be said for the area's supply of guards.Error creating thumbnail: File missingFaced with one such guard, the operative drops the empty magazine with one hand (no small feat for a pistol with a heel magazine release), while dealing with some... unpleasant business with the other.Error creating thumbnail: File missingPerforming a quick in-holster reload, dropping the slide, and concluding said business.Error creating thumbnail: File missingSeveral unforeseen complications later, the operative performs a quick tactical reload; one of the features added in Update #100 was the ability to hold two magazines (of reasonable size) at once, allowing for easier magazine retention during reloads.Error creating thumbnail: File missingOpting for stealth a bit late, the operative screws on a suppressor; it blocks the pistol's irons, but the integrated laser helps make up for it.
Mauser C96
Update #43 introduced the Mauser C96 to the game. The weapon holds 10 rounds of the 7.63x25mm Mauser cartridge (which, like some in the game, was added before there were any weapons that could use them), and can be reloaded round-by-round or with a 10-round stripper clip.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingMauser C96 "Broomhandle" (pre-war commercial version) - 7.63x25mm MauserError creating thumbnail: File missingNothing quite like sitting back, relaxing, and admiring a beautiful early selfloading handgun.Error creating thumbnail: File missingTaking a close look at the inside of the magazine...Error creating thumbnail: File missing...before loading it with a stripper clip. 10 rounds of 7.63x25mm Mauser, straight into the magazine.Error creating thumbnail: File missingSeeing a charging paper target, "Wurston Churchill" opens fire. Despite there being a cutout for a shoulder stock in the grip's backstrap, no such attachment was available in-game until the release of Update #52.Error creating thumbnail: File missing10 rounds later, he surveys the damage. Note the rear sight, adjustable for distances far in excess of the weapon's effective range.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAnd, countless updates later, you can actually adjust them to said ranges! From 50 to 500 meters, in increments of 50 - ridiculous, but more plausible than the early-production variants, which went out to a kilometer.Error creating thumbnail: File missingTaking aim at a steel plate 200 meters out, with the sights set to the corresponding range.Error creating thumbnail: File missing200 meters is certainly pushing it, but it's not impossible by any means - with a steady hand and a bit of practice, you can ring plates that far away with relative ease.Error creating thumbnail: File missingOf course, attaching the stock also helps - that extra point of contact keeps the gun steadier (i.e. adds extra hand movement filtering), to say nothing of the benefits of having the sights closer to your face.
Don't ask about the angle. I don't know either.
Mauser M712 Schnellfeuer
In a similar vein to its 3 extra Luger variants, Update #52 brought along 3 variants of the Mauser C96, the first being a Mauser M712 Schnellfeuer machine pistol.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingMauser M712 Schnellfeuer - 7.63x25mm MauserError creating thumbnail: File missingThe M712 has quite the imposing appearance. One might even call it a Big Mama among handguns.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLoading a 40-round magazine into the Schnellfeuer - given the weapon's high fire rate (the German word "schnellfeuer" literally means "rapid fire"), you're gonna want all the rounds you can get.Error creating thumbnail: File missingChambering the first of those 40 rounds with a swift tug of the bolt.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLetting all 40 rounds fly. Considering its sheer uncontrollability without a stock, there isn't really much point to aiming it.Error creating thumbnail: File missingSo, if aimed fire's what you're aiming for, you should probably attach one. This particular one is from a Beretta 93R - hardly an OEM part, but you've gotta admit, it looks pretty cool.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLike the C96 upon which it was based, the M712 would later receive an adjustable rear sight - anywhere from 50 to 500 meters, in increments of 50.Error creating thumbnail: File missingThe fact that the fire selector (and safety) were later made usable only makes precision shooting all that much more appealing an option.Error creating thumbnail: File missingTaking aim at a plate 100 or so meters away - the notch-and-post sight picture is identical to the standard C96's, complete with the German-style barleycorn front post that somebody apparently thought was a good idea.Error creating thumbnail: File missingOr, you can just do some Chinese-style "bandit shooting", because you have no sense of self-control.Error creating thumbnail: File missingTo help yourself learn restraint, you can always stick to one magazine and load it exclusively with stripper clips; this gets tedious enough to encourage ammo conservation even without an actual limit to one's supply, especially when that one magazine is a 40-rounder.
Mk 22 Mod 0 "Hush Puppy"
The Mk 22 Mod 0 "Hush Puppy", a long-requested variation of the Smith & Wesson 39 used by US special forces during the Cold War, was added in Update #82; the update itself was themed around noise, with its other additions including a pair of improvised suppressors (one made of a soda bottle, and another made from an oil filter), and several decidedly less subtle attachments (including a gramophone-esque "loudener" attachment, a bicycle horn and bell, and a foregrip made out of an airhorn).
Moses Brothers Self-Defense Engine Frontier Model B
Unlocked as a reward, the "Frontier Model B" is a precise replica of Captain Malcom's gun from Serenity and Firefly. While the original prop was actually a Taurus Model 85 in a multi-part casing meant to make it look like a semi-automatic, magazine-fed handgun, in-game it is just that - a magazine-fed, semi-automatic handgun that holds 6 rounds (plus one in the chamber) of the proprietary .36 Moses cartridge.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingThe prop of Mal's handgun, as seen in Firefly.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLet's see... a decanter without any contents, a calculator without any buttons, John Lennon's glasses without any temples, a revolver cosplaying as a semi-auto, and a Big Red Button. This is gonna be... interesting.Error creating thumbnail: File missingExamining the penultimate item on the list.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLoading in a magazine. 2 things are worth noting here: the design of the cartridge, and the design of the magazine. The latter doesn't work like a traditional magazine; instead of being stacked on top of one another, the rounds are stacked end-to-end, only one layer deep. The former seems to consist solely of a fully-jacketed pistol-caliber bullet, with no visible casing (accordingly, no casings are ejected when the weapon fires); this would seemingly it to be a caseless round, rather like the "Rocket Balls" of the Volcanic Repeater, upon which the original prop was inspired. This does not, however, account for the pistol's immense damage per shot, as the Volcanic's ammunition was notoriously weak; the pistol is implied to use some sort of electromagnetic acceleration system (presumably either a coilgun- or railgun-type system), so any actual propellant in the cartridges is most likely just to start the projectile moving.Error creating thumbnail: File missingPulling back the pistol's top plate, which serves to both retract the bolt and cock the hammer.Error creating thumbnail: File missingPausing for a moment to appreciate the pistol. Something about brass on a gun just... works.Error creating thumbnail: File missingThe pistol's (rather wide) iron sights, as seen a bit closer to the eye than is strictly advisable. To be fair, the brass front blade blends in with the drab color scheme of Wurstworld rather too well for most eyes' liking.Error creating thumbnail: File missingReducing a cactus to a shower of spines and sparks, following it making a largely incoherent threat to eat the entire crew alive. Gorram savages...Error creating thumbnail: File missingThe threat defeated, a few shots into the air are merited. Note both the reciprocation of the top-plate, and the blue muzzle flash, similar to that of the "Cyber Pistol" above.Error creating thumbnail: File missingDumping out an empty magazine, and getting back to the job at hand.
"Pistol"
One of the firearms added in the "Meat Fortress" update (an officially-licensed crossover with Team Fortress 2), the "Pistol" is a duplicate of the one from TF2, being a mix of Walther PPK (ejection port, grip panels, lower gripframe) and Makarov PM (slide, trigger, upper frame) with a Smith & Wesson Model 61 Escort-esque rounded trigger guard. Of note is that the original model was largely static (with only the magazine being an actual moving part), forcing gamedev Anton Hand to rework the model for use with H3's firearm systems. Of note is that the "Pistol", along with all the other Meat Fortress weapons, are not classified based on their actual weapon type; instead, they occupy a special "Meat Fort" class in the in-game item spawner.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingMakarov PM - 9x18mm MakarovError creating thumbnail: File missingWalther PPK - .380 ACPError creating thumbnail: File missingSmith & Wesson Model 61 Escort - .22 LRError creating thumbnail: File missingThrow 'em all together with a healthy dose of cartoonishness, and you get this puppy.Error creating thumbnail: File missingA close-up of the inside of the pistol, showing the work done in its remodeling - the inside of the slide, the magazine well, the feed ramp, the rear end of the barrel, the front end of the barrel, and all of the slide and frame surfaces that's expose when the slide comes back had to be modeled at H3's end.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAlso added were appropriate functions for the hammer, seen here cocked; the pistol operates in single-action in-game, unlike TF2's seeming DAO.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAnd, of course, what good is a hammer without a trigger to drop it? The one in-game recesses itself near-totally into the frame when pulled, as seen here.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLooking at a magazine; true to the source material, these hold 12 rounds. The pistol in this build uses .45 ACP; all of these TF2-derived weapons initially used standard calibers as placeholders, so as to avoid accidental leaking of project-related information before the crossover was announced.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLoading the Pistol with one of the aforeobserved magazines; note that the stamping in the top of the magazine is modeled in 3D, as opposed to the original game, wherein it was simply part of a flat texture.Error creating thumbnail: File missingPointing the Pistol at a Sosig Heavy's head; as with many of these weapons, the sights aren't exactly... traditional.Error creating thumbnail: File missingSwitching targets to a nearby Sosig Engineer, and dumping rounds into its "torso". Note that, due to its non-standard layout, the Pistol ejects to the left instead of the right.Error creating thumbnail: File missingDumping an empty magazine out of the locked-empty pistol, and declaring solemnly that it really do be like that sometimes.Error creating thumbnail: File missingPerforming a dual simultaneous reload with a brace of pistols, showing off 2 loaded magazines; in keeping with their Russian-sounding name, the Pistols' proprietary "11mm Mannchevskikovovichidev" rounds are steel-cased, with a dull copper-jacketed bullet and a red ring of death case sealant.Error creating thumbnail: File missingInterestingly, several of the TF2 weapons can equip suppressors, the Pistol among them; this is a "Large A" Maxim Silencer (the first commercially-available firearm suppressor), one of 6 variants thereof added in Update #76 - there are 3 sizes, each in "A" (standalone) and "B" (adaptor-fitted) variants.Error creating thumbnail: File missingFiring one of these produces an exaggerated, high-pitched "pew" sound, befitting of a game as cartoonish and exaggerated as TF2.Error creating thumbnail: File missingOn the topic of suppressors, Update #83 added several community-designed ones meant to fit the TF2 arsenal; this is the Pistol's. The flared-out profile fits the cartoonish artstyle, while the finish matches the gun's frame to a T.
"Backfielder"
Added in Update #103, the Backfielder is a variant of the Meat Fortress pistol, featuring a non-removable stock and the ability to fire in three-round bursts. In addition, an extended eighteen-round magazine was added that's compatible with both firearms.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingAdmiring the Backfielder, in the most appropriate place possible - the Arizona range's backfield.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAssuming that you can really call any part of this place a "field".Error creating thumbnail: File missingLoading in a standard 12-round magazine, of the same type used by the basic Pistol.Error creating thumbnail: File missingChambering a round of 11mm Manchevskikovovichidev; the slide is about a frame from going into battery here.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAiming at one of the dueling tree's plates; the tall 3-post sights are decently clear and easy to read (especially compared to the basic version's), though the near-identical color of the plate makes them a bit harder to make out. Especially at a rather baffling arm's length - if you're using it properly, you shouldn't be seeing this much of the stock.Error creating thumbnail: File missingFiring a round regardless; the recoil wasn't bad to begin with, so the longer version is pretty mild.Error creating thumbnail: File missingUnsurprisingly, 12 rounds don't last long when you're having this much fun. So, out with the old...Error creating thumbnail: File missing...and in with the new (or newer, depending on when you're reading this article). Note that this isn't the slide's locked-back position; rather, this is its furthest rearward travel position, since this shot is right at the apex of a quick powerstroke - as with the standard version, this is the only way to send the slide back into battery, since it doesn't have a release lever.Error creating thumbnail: File missingFiring a burst into an unsuspecting bit of pottery; the awkwardly far-left position of the pistol is necessary to even get two of the spent cases on the screen at once. And don't even think about getting 3.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAnd no, before anyone asks, this doesn't work. It looks like it'll fit, but it won't go in no matter how hard you try, so don't bother - trying to force things into unwilling holes just because they look like they'll fit isn't a good way to go about life.
PL-14 Lebedev
Alpha 1 of Update #94 added the PL-14 Lebedev, accompanying the above GSh-18 as part of an effort to expand the game's once-meager selection of modern Russian handguns.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingPL-14 Lebedev - 9x19mm ParabellumError creating thumbnail: File missingExamining the PL-14 in a place that's snowy enough to be Siberia, but far too cheerful.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAs for the pistol itself, it has a rather 20-minutes-into-the-future aesthetic to it, with sharp, angular lines and a nice low bore axis.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLoading in a magazine; these hold 15 rounds a pop, and seem to have two catches cut into them for whatever reason.Error creating thumbnail: File missingRacking the slide; note the ambidextrous safety lever. This is functional in-game, though it initially worked without actually moving or producing sound (leading to some rather awkward situations where the gun would fail to fire for no apparent reason).Error creating thumbnail: File missingAiming at a wall; the sights are today's standard 3-dot arrangement.Error creating thumbnail: File missingFiring off a few rounds at the wall, questioning why the gods have seen fit to trap us in this prison they call a snowglobe.Error creating thumbnail: File missingWith the mag having outlived its contents, it takes a trip down to the floor. 15 rounds just doesn't seem to last as long as it used to...
Roth-Steyr M1907
The Roth-Steyr M1907 was added in Update #105 Experimental Build 1.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingRoth-Steyr M1907 - 8x19mm Roth-SteyrError creating thumbnail: File missingAdmiring the other Austrian striker-fired service pistol. Y'know, the one made by Steyr.Error creating thumbnail: File missingNo, not that Steyr-made striker-fired service pistol, the other Steyr-made striker-fired service pistol. The older one.Error creating thumbnail: File missingYanking back the M1907's distinctive(ly toy-esque) rear-mounted cocking knob...Error creating thumbnail: File missing...and loading in a 10-round stripper clip of (proprietary) 8x19mm ammunition. Notably, these clips feature a follower (the small metal block on top of the rounds); this makes stripping rounds into the magazine an easier, smoother process, at the cost of adding cost and complexity to the manufacture of what would otherwise be literally two pieces of stamped metal. The markings on the top are accurate, reading "WAFFENFABRIK STEYR 34474", with the latter being a serial number (also visible on the right side of the frame; this, alongside the markings on the unit disk in the right grip panel, shows that the in-game pistol was modeled off of this example in the Royal Armouries' collection).Error creating thumbnail: File missingThumbing the Roth-Steyr's bolt release. Or the Roth-Krnka's, if you prefer. Or the Roth-Theodorovic's. Or the Krnka-Theodorovic's. Or the Roth-Steyr-Krnka-Theodorovic's. Takes a village to raise a pistol design, after all.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAiming; the sights are about what one would expect for the era, with a reasonably deep V-notch rear and a small barleycorn-style front post. A few proof marks are visible on the back of the bolt and frame, in case you were worried about the gun exploding or something.Error creating thumbnail: File missingIf the proofs don't offer sufficient proof, then hopefully this will. 8x19mm isn't the most powerful round, but it's still got some pep to it.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLooking side-on at the pistol again, to demonstrate a neat detail: the rear end of the striker doubles as a cocking indicator.Error creating thumbnail: File missingFurthermore, like both of the other Austrian striker-fired service pistols mentioned above, the M1907 uses a half-cocked striker system; accordingly, the cocking indicator visibly moves backward as the trigger is pulled, before dropping at the end of its travel.Error creating thumbnail: File missingWhich, as one should probably know, is exactly why you don't demonstrate this feature when the gun's still loaded.
Ruby Pistol
The Ruby Pistol was added in Alpha 3 of Update #94. It is the semi-auto equivalent of the earlier-added UNION machine pistol, though the two do not have cross-compatible magazines. The Ruby was mistakenly placed in the Machine Pistols category; this was fixed shortly after.
Ruby Pistol - .32 ACPError creating thumbnail: File missingThe Ruby Pistol; apparently this pistol had already been fully coded for a year, but was forgotten about until now. Better late than never, I guess.Error creating thumbnail: File missingReverse side of the Ruby.Error creating thumbnail: File missingInserting the eight round magazine into the pistol.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAfter a year of waiting, the little pistol is finally ready to take out its pent up frustrations on the nearest target.Error creating thumbnail: File missingThat target being, a big orange fuel canister. Fortunately it's not too far away, as the Ruby's tiny sights make distance shooting a challenge.Error creating thumbnail: File missingTake that, conveniently positioned and dangerously explosive metallic cylinder!Error creating thumbnail: File missingAfter emptying the entire magazine into the canister, it finally starts to catch fire. The little .32 ACP pistol walks away, defeated.Error creating thumbnail: File missingSeeking consultation with its big brother, the Ruby realizes that despite being based on the same design, it cannot use its bigger brother's 35-round magazine. Though to be fair, the Ruby itself was made by 50 different manufacturers, and oftentimes they weren't interchangeable with each other either.Error creating thumbnail: File missingSeeking comfort elsewhere, the Ruby discovers another new addition to the game, the Chuwungus suppressor (yes it's actually called the Chuwungus, stop laughing).Error creating thumbnail: File missingEven after shrinking down to fit the Ruby's barrel, the Chuwungus is still bigger than the Ruby.Error creating thumbnail: File missingFortunately, the top of the Chuwungus is just low enough for the Ruby's sights to be (barely) useable.
Ruger Mk III
The Ruger Mk III is one of the available firearms in-game; it was added in Update #5, and was, until the release of Update #56, the only weapon in the game chambered in .22 Long Rifle. Notably, its magazine safety (a system that prevents the pistol from firing if no magazine is inserted) is correctly simulated in-game.
Update #59's ninth alpha build added the Ruger Mk IV, an improved version of the Mk III with a simplified disassembly procedure. 2 versions were added: a stainless Hunter model with high-contrast illuminated sights, and a Standard model with a custom integrated suppressor, known as the "Whisper" variant. As with the earlier Mk III, the Mk IVs both have simulated magazine safeties.
Update #57 added one firearm, the Compact-eXploder machine pistol, made by Japanese science fiction mangaka Masamune Shirow's fictional arms company Seburo. In-game, the weapon is referred to as the "SCX" (i.e. Seburo Compact-eXploder), and fires the 4.6x30mm HK round (its caliber never being specified in the original source material).
The Meatmas 2023 update added in the fictitious Seburo M5 from Masamune Shirow's Ghost in the Shell series.
Poseidon model replica of the Seburo M5.
SIG P210
The SIG P210 was added in Experimental build 1 of Update #111. Three different variants were added; the original P210-1 model, the P210-5 Target model, and the P210-6 model with a conversion kit to chamber it in .22LR. This conversion kit is used in real life for training models.
The first alpha build of Update #90 was one that'd been requested for quite some time: a SIG-Sauer P226R, known in-game as the "P226 Mk 25" (the US Navy-issued version), with 15- and 20-round magazines available.
The compact version of the SIG-Sauer P250 is one of the available firearms in-game. It has a two-tone finish, is chambered in .45 ACP, and was added in Update #5.
The final build of Update #97 added a SilencerCo Maxim 9, dubbed the "Max9" in-game.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingSilencerCo Maxim 9 - 9x19mm ParabellumError creating thumbnail: File missingTaking a trip out to the reworked Friendly45 range (whose rebuild was one of the other things added in Update #97), and admiring the view.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAnd the Maxim 9, of course.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLoading a magazine into the pistol - while this mag is a unique model, it's interchangeable with standard Glock 17 mags.Error creating thumbnail: File missingRacking the slide, and showing off its unique layout in the process.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAiming the Maxim 9 - the sights are a white 3-dot setup, typical of modern handguns.Error creating thumbnail: File missingRinging some plates. While the Welrod and De Lisle have it beat in overall quietness, the Maxim 9 is still the quietest autoloader in the game.Error creating thumbnail: File missing17 soft shots (and loud dings) later, the Maxim 9 locks open.Error creating thumbnail: File missingDumping out the old magazine, in suitably dramatic fashion.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAlso of note is the Maxim 9's barrel-mounted RMR plate; this acts as a rail in-game, and disappears when an attachment (like this Aimpoint ACRO red-dot sight) is mounted on it. The end result can look absolutely seamless if done correctly.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAlternatively, you can just go for broke with attachments - a laser sight, a Fortis SHIFT foregrip, a FAB Defense GLR-440 stock, and a KCI 50-round drum magazine, in this case. As a note of trivia, this would be (in the US, at any rate) a two-tax-stamp build if you attached the stock first (one for the suppressor, and one for the stock making it legally a "short-barreled rifle"), or a three-stamp build if you put the foregrip on first (one for the suppressor, one for the foregrip making it legally an "Any Other Weapon", and one for the stock converting that into an SBR).
Smith & Wesson 41
Multiple variants of the [[Smith & Wesson 41 were added as part of the Meatmas 2023 update.
Added in the third alpha of Update #85, the Steyr M1912 expands H3's roster of clip-fed pistols, and is one of only two firearms in the game chambered in 9x23mm Steyr (the other one of which, added concurrently, is below).
The Anschlagpistole M.12, the select-fire machine pistol variant of the above Steyr M1912, was added concurrently with the former in Update #85's third alpha build. It is labelled in the game as the "M1912/P.16", an oft-quoted-but-incorrect designation (short for "Patrone 16", in reference to its 16-round capacity). It is permanently fitted with a stock (as, unlike most pistol stocks, the M1912's wraps around the entire grip, making even the game's version of interchangeability unfeasible), and features the appropriate 16-round extended fixed magazine. The stock lacks the butt pad that was present on the real Anschlagpistole M.12.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingSteyr Anschlagpistole M.12 with stock - 9x23mm SteyrError creating thumbnail: File missingTaking a look at the M1912/P.16, right at the start of a "Battle Petite" match in the Meatmas Cappocolloseum.Error creating thumbnail: File missingStripping some rounds off of the first of two stripper clips. Or maybe the second. You have no real way of knowing.Error creating thumbnail: File missingChambering what could just as easily be the first of eight rounds as it could be sixteen - again, you can't tell.Error creating thumbnail: File missingA minute or two of sausage-shooting later, and a quick peek at the right side of the pistol reveals this large switch on the frame.Error creating thumbnail: File missingFlipping it down results in...Error creating thumbnail: File missing"Yes, I know the rule of the Double Tap, but I think you crossed the line between "playing it safe" and "desecrating a corpse" about eleven rounds ago."Error creating thumbnail: File missingDoing a bit of post-battle bore inspection in a completely unsafe and inadvisable manner shows that the P.16 has a rather detailed interior, with rifling grooves in the barrel and a firing pin hole in the breech face (as does the normal M1912, though it's not suitably absurd to inspire this kind of poor decision-making). Exactly how light is entering the barrel at this angle is another matter entirely.
STI 2011 Staccato P
The Staccato P variant of STI's 2011 series of pistols was added in Update #101 on Meatmas day; it is referred to in-game as the "ST2111".
The Tokarev TT-33 is one of the available firearms in-game. It was the first "real" handgun added (barring the fictitious "Cyber Pistol"), and predates H3's release altogether; it was one of the few weapons included in the very first early access build of the game. Update #77's 1st alpha build replaced the earlier re-finished model with a newer, older-looking one.
...what? Were you expecting something that actually fits into the section and flows well? Nope. Too bad. This is all you get.Error creating thumbnail: File missingTokarev TT-33 with wooden grips - 7.62x25mm TokarevError creating thumbnail: File missingThe (slightly less) shiny new (yet older) Tokarev, courtesy of Update #77's 1st alpha.Error creating thumbnail: File missingGone are the aftermarket synthetic grips and redone finish, with checkered wood and a duller original bluing job replacing them.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLike the old model, the new model's magazine has functional witness holes; the rounds look different, as the 7.62x25mm Tokarev round had been migrated to the standard multi-type ammo system of the game's other weapons by this point.Error creating thumbnail: File missingChambering a round.Error creating thumbnail: File missingThe TT-33's iron sights; much better integrated into the section this time, if not any easier to use on a gray target.Error creating thumbnail: File missingFiring off a round; the rather substantial powder charge of the 7.62x25mm round leads to an impressive muzzle flash, one which lingers a frame or two longer than usual, as seen here.Error creating thumbnail: File missingThat shot plus ceмь later, and the pistol locks empty, meriting the ejection of the now-empty magazine.
USFA ZiP .22
The USFA ZiP .22 was added on Day 7 of the Meatmas 2022 Advent calendar event. Both a standalone version and an “underbarrel” variant with a female Picatinny attachment point on top of the receiver were added; amusingly enough, the latter was an actual product offered by USFA.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingUSFA ZiP .22 - .22 LRError creating thumbnail: File missingOpening up Day 7's box to reveal a very... special gift. A bit like giving someone a copy of E.T. for the Atari - especially given that, at this point, both at least have some ironic degree of collector's value.Error creating thumbnail: File missingSadly, collector's value is about all this odd little thing has. They say not to judge a book by its cover, but the quality of a book doesn't rely too much on ergonomics.Error creating thumbnail: File missingFiddling with the safety, which is a simple cross-bolt mounted in front of the trigger guard; its placement is a bit awkward, but then again, so are the rest of this thing's controls. And the gun as a whole, really - its entire existence, both physical and conceptual.Error creating thumbnail: File missingTaking a look at the other side, in an orientation that's hardly any worse than the "correct" one; here, the hand-hitting ejection port is visible, and the plastic(!) bolt through it.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLoading in a Ruger 10/22 magazine; while picking a well-established magazine design is generally considered a good idea when designing a firearm, one should usually stop and think about how the resulting firearm would have to be built to accommodate it, and whether that layout actually makes any sense. One should also probably not attempt to use said magazine's feed lip as an ejector.Error creating thumbnail: File missingPulling back the ZiP's charging plungers, placed in about the most concerning position imaginable; the shorter one on the right is meant exclusively for cocking the striker, being long enough to push the bolt back to the striker's sear engagement point, but not quite long enough to fully extract a chambered round. As with most aspects of the ZiP, this was a better idea on paper than it was in practice.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAttempting to aim at a distant crystal snowflake, an attempt which is stymied by the Picatinny rail blocking the iron sights; this was an option in reality, though it's non-removable in-game.Error creating thumbnail: File missingFiring also produces a bit more recoil than the typical .22, given its decidedly atypical (not in a good way) grip.Error creating thumbnail: File missingUSFA ZiP .22 with ZiPSBR underbarrel mount - .22 LRError creating thumbnail: File missingOf course, there's more than one gun in the box. Well, there's more than one ZiP, but two of them should add up to at least one actual handgun, no?Error creating thumbnail: File missingNotably, in addition to the top rail, both ZiP variants have a short underbarrel rail, allowing for...Error creating thumbnail: File missing...the ZiPpinator! (What, I've already used the whole "recursive gun" gag. Although, if you're reading these pages in order, you probably didn't know that.)Error creating thumbnail: File missingSpraying some .22 tracer rounds at a sign, aiming through the centrally-mounted EOTech sight - it almost feels like a vintage AA gun, if you can get over how awkward and nonsensical it is (as evidenced by the completely misaligned controller outlines).Error creating thumbnail: File missingWith 50 rounds of .22 LR having proven insufficient to fell the Meatmas tree, the BX-25 magazines have to be done away with. Notably, upon release, the underbarrel ZiP lacked some of the standard version's functionality - its safety didn't work, and (as somewhat shown here) the magazines could only be manually removed, rather than having a touchpad click as an option like the standard version. Given the location of the magazine release, the former probably makes more sense.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAnyway, if the ZiPpinator's not doing it for you, why not try the new ZiP Modern Integrated Sniper Tactical Advanced Kinetic Enhancer? Only costs 3 easy payments of 9.99 frames.
Walther P5 Compact
The Walther P5 Compact with wooden grips was added on Day 3 of the Meatmas 2020 Advent Calendar event.
The 19th day of Meatmas 2018 brought along a Webley & Scott Mk I autoloading pistol.
Error creating thumbnail: File missingWebley & Scott Mk I - .455 Webley AutoError creating thumbnail: File missingWhat better gift to give than a century-old autoloading handgun? Especially one with as much collector's value as this. Must've cost them a fortune, whoever "they" might be.Error creating thumbnail: File missingLoading in the standard 7-round magazine. Certainly not lacking in the "indicator holes" department...Error creating thumbnail: File missingPausing to admire the pistol. A well-made piece of kit, even if it does look a bit like someone built it out of a bunch of bits from other handguns with little regard as to what was supposed to go where.Error creating thumbnail: File missingFlipping the pistol over...Error creating thumbnail: File missing...and giving the slide a pull.Error creating thumbnail: File missingAiming at a distant crystal snowflake; the irons are a bit small by today's standards, but a damn sight better than some of the Webley's contemporaries.Error creating thumbnail: File missingFiring off a shot; at full size, the semi-rim of the .455 Webley Auto cartridge's case can just be glimpsed.Error creating thumbnail: File missingNeither that shot nor the six that followed hit their mark; while .455 Webley Auto (proprietary, at least in-game) runs at substantially higher velocities than the .455 Webley revolver round upon which it was based, it's still not even scraping the sound barrier, making long-distance shooting at anything smaller than a tectonic plate a bit of an exercise in futility.Error creating thumbnail: File missingWell, at least it's a conversation starter.
Click here to return to the main index page, or click here to view the game's manual-loading pistols.
